


Underneath the Rain

by Shadow7



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Short, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 21:17:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10907643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow7/pseuds/Shadow7
Summary: Well, hello! Yes, this is a new series that it's actually gonna be posted all at once, four chapters. This story is a birthday gift to my boo Jo.To all: Thanks so much for the love, support, and prayers.Dear Jo,Even though we are far apart and that we don't talk as much as we used to - every day and a lot- because my life is a disaster and I'm living in a Tarantino movie and you're all grown up, working and studying and shit. I still want to tell you how much I miss you and how much I love you. I hope you love this as much I loved writing it.-Love, your boo.





	1. The One With The Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BitchLikeHomegirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitchLikeHomegirl/gifts).



It couldn’t be a shittier moment in time, just when you know your life blew up, the rain starts to pour from the sky when you’re in the middle of your backyard, holding the tears on the first weekend alone at home after you take the step you’ve been terrified to take.

Gavin left, well… I threw him out, I spent Friday out while he took his things out, the boys were at my brother’s house on a pajama party weekend while I rearranged things here, I threw out everything he didn’t take, I put them in boxes and send them to a storage we had, I didn’t want him here, I didn’t want him looking at me with his stupid face, his cheating, destructive face, I didn’t want to be reminded of the past, I wanted to forget everything that happened. As those words ran through my head, a sob came through me making me kneel in the middle of the backyard of the huge house. Money is not happiness, not truer words.

I felt the tears mixing with the rain. I felt my soul hurting, my body hurting and my heart bleeding and dying inside my chest. I felt so powerless and lost and enraged at the same time; the mix of it all was leaving me breathless in the grass. I have worked my whole life, so hard, to keep my life together putting aside the craziness and the eccentricity, for nothing, it didn’t matter how hard I tried, didn’t matter how hard I worked, it didn’t matter how hard I prayed, I was alone, and tonight was the physical example of it all.  The thunder that broke through the sky and painted the sky to all kinds of blues answered me, devastation and destruction.

I held my head with my hands as I kept crying, I kept crying and crying knowing that it didn’t matter how hard I did or how long I did, the tears wouldn’t stop as much as the pain wouldn’t go away.

I wasn’t going to make it, I knew. I didn’t know how I was going to move forward, I didn’t know how I was supposed to live and breathe while my life fell apart around me. How was I going to look at my children’s face and pretend I wasn’t dying inside? Could I even pretend?

I felt a shadow over me and I opened my eyes to my dad’s soaked face in front of mine, kneeling down, his worried face, his painful face, tears forming in his eyes, watching her baby girl crying desperately on the ground.

- _Honey_ \- I heard him and I lost it again. His face was dripping wet, I don’t think mine was much better considering I was wearing make-up and all.

I couldn’t talk, the lack of air and the sobs I was holding inside my chest didn’t let me articulate, didn’t let me think, didn’t let me breathe. He hugged me and I felt my body pulled inside of his huge arms, I felt his arms getting tighter around me, his body trying to shield me from the pain that was threatening me to destroy me. The coldness of the rain was getting under my skin and was turning my insides to ice-cold; I felt like my life was going to go completely ice-cold.

_-I don’t think I might be able to do this…I can’t-_

_-Do what?-_ I heard my dad through my sobs and ragged breath.

_-Life…God. I worked so hard… to nothing-_

_-Nothing? Baby, you have the most beautiful children, you worked your way into music, into this house, into your dreams. That’s not something, that everything-_

_-I … just … the pain-_

_-I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but your happiness doesn’t depend on a man that doesn’t deserve to be love. You don’t destroy what you love, you work with it, you built it, you take care of it-_

_-It’s so much, it’s too much-_

_-Baby, if I could take your pain away, I would sell my soul to the devil to do it, I would-_

The sobs were taking over my body, I was holding tight onto my dad the way I did when I was young and I got hurt by someone, he would wipe my tears and say the right things to take my mind of it, then buy me a huge ice-cream to remind me how sweet life actually was. The same happened on prom night when I came back crying after a fight I had with my best friend when I got her kissing the boy I liked, I went straight to the kitchen to find my dad with an ice cream pot and two spoons and it was my turn when my grandma died, and I bought a huge chocolate chip ice cream with two spoons, I took it to my dad’s room right after the funeral, we spent the night eating, talking and crying. 

 _-There isn’t ice cream sweet enough-_ I sobbed against his chest

_-No…but there’s love sweet enough to heal you-_

_-Is it?-_

_-Yeah…kids love, that one is the sweetest of all, it’s pure and clean, generous and healing. Baby, you have three boys to think of. You made the right decision, you made the smart decision, you made the hard decision, for you and for them, for your happiness and for theirs-_

_-They’re from a broken home, now. They’re gonna look back and ask me why I didn’t fight harder?-_

_-They’re gonna look back and thank you for fighting harder, baby, leaving and walking away is, sometimes, the right thing to do, for everyone and in a lot of ways, the hardest of all-_

_-Right for everyone?-_

_-Everyone. Maybe you and Gavin can rebuild a relationship that was broken many years ago, away from being partners, away from the marriage. Maybe, he can rebuild his relationship with the kids and maybe, we can all renew our relationship with God-_

_-I feel alone, HE left me alone-_

_-He never leaves anyone alone, baby. He’s always there, taking care of you, giving you the strength to rebuilt yourself. You will. You’ll see-_

_-I love you, daddy-_

_-I love you too, baby. Always-_

I hugged my dad tighter and after a couple of minutes, I moved to get up. We walked still hugging towards the house and after assuring my dad that I needed to be alone, he left me home, alone.

I stood there in my living room and sat on the floor, leaning towards the door with my eyes closed feeling the tears running down my face, I left my mind to drift away. Memories from my past, childhood memories I thought were forgotten, broken hearts, broken dreams, broken promises, I thought of it all, I thought of what my friends have gone through, I thought of what people have gone through and I felt…for some reason, in peace. I don’t know how long I was there, all I knew was that the rain had stopped and the once dark sky was a lighter shade of blue.

Still wet, I got up and I closed the front door fighting the urge to beg someone to come, I fought the need to kneel to the ground again and cry and scream in pain. I held on, I stood tall, all while deep and long streaks of tears were streaming down my face, the sobs went now.

I took a hard deep breath and walked upstairs, every step was harder and harder to take, I passed the office, his office, I looked at the emptiness of the room and a sob came through, I held on the tears. I kept moving and went to my room, seeing the white spots on the dark gray wall, were only a day ago pictures were hung, the empty drawers, the tv-less wall and the man-free space, turn my heart and stomach into knots.  

I looked at my opened closet and I walked in, the huge full-length mirror, stared at me. It showed a sight of me I never thought I would see, a runny makeup face, messy hair, a mess in general, my clothes was wet and cold on my body, my body was trembling, my lips were blue with dry and runny lipstick over my chin, my shoes were a mess, completely destroyed.

I took my shirt off and my jeans too, right after my shoes and socks, I was left in my underwear, and I saw myself for the first time in years, I saw my edges, I saw my curves, I actually saw me. I used my shirt to clean the make-up off my face. I took my underwear and was left naked in the middle of a half-empty closet. I walked closer to the mirror and took a deep breath.

Saw my whole body, saw my face and even with the tears coming down and the pain in my chest. Somehow, I felt free, somehow, I didn’t felt beautiful and strong, the pain was there, probably was gonna be there for a long time, but I couldn’t keep punishing me for something it wasn’t my fault, I worked, I tried and it didn’t happen. I didn’t felt perfect, but I felt safe, I didn’t feel strong but I didn’t feel weak.

I closed my eyes and tried to think of the last genuine happy moment I had, probably Apollo’s first words, before that, when Kingston and Zuma helped him to dress him when he was a baby and got his diaper done backward. I closed my eyes tighter and tried to remember the last happy moment with Gavin, and I didn’t remember. I went for my birthday, but nothing, maybe his birthday, but nothing, I went years back and I couldn’t remember the last time I was filled with happiness for something I had lived with him. It hurt. I realized that now, now that he was actually gone. I remembered promising myself at only fifteen years old that my goal in life was always going to be…happy and I failed at that.

I didn’t fail on a marriage, a marriage that had been dead for years, a marriage that turned sour the second he decided that sleeping with other people was allowed, a marriage that wasn’t full of happiness but tears. I failed at myself, for losing my way on my happiness. Today has been one of the worst days of my life, and it probably always will, but I had to take this time to renew my vows with myself, with my happiness and with my life.

If people have gone through worse and survived to tell it, the least I could do was try for me and for my babies, for their future and wellbeing. I repeated those vows again those decades ago that I broke; I vowed that day to work on my happiness. I might not get my forty-year-old wedding anniversary but I was working on my forty-year-old, happiness anniversary.

To know you're up, you need to know what been down is. 

 


	2. The One With The Talk

It has been a weird few months. The whole adjusting to the single life crap has been harder than I expected. Three months ago, I was packing my shit from my LA home, left the house and went for another one that didn’t remind me of my cheating, bitch of a wife I had, after sleeping a month in Adam’s house and letting them babied me to health, I had moved on.

- _You’re leaving_ \- she said pouting, as I came down the stairs with my bag

_-I am sweetheart, but don’t you worry, I decided to have a special Behati room-_

_-A what room?-_

_-A room for you, so when you leave the moron, you can live with me in that your room and we’ll do all crazy things, first I’ll show you the right way to live and I’ll hook you up with a real man with a real voice-_ I said, winking at her and hugging her tight.

 _-You’re so stupid-_ she had said with teary eyes and a big hug that reminded me of every time, either her o Adam hugged me throughout the day.

They had helped me to find a house, they helped me to get the right furniture and make it a little less rented and a lot more “home”, I let them pick a lot of things but the colors, I bought clothes and even a new guitar, I wanted it all new. We finished the house and I moved as soon as I could, not gonna say that it was easy or painless, but living alone was the first step to move on with my life. That and starting to go home to the south, which I did, that next week.

I decided to move on as swiftly as I could, I went to Nash, hang with my friends, went to bars, met with people, did interviews and played the tough guy as best as I could, played the hurt person that I was, with, at least, twenty levels less than I actually was.

I went home and I left my mother babied me to death, she hadn’t had the chance, I hadn’t seen her since the whole chaos started.  Mom made my favorite meals and mother me into calling Trace and my sister to help me, the first one said no and my sister joined my mother. It was hell.

After a couple of weeks at home, I went to the ranch and with their help, I did the same I did in LA, bought new shit, I threw most things out and filled the spaces Miranda had left empty. It got to the point where the only thing reminding me that she existed was my hurt heart and ego but I had no time for that crap. 

The Voice auditions were starting soon and I needed to get my shit together, I needed to get my mind ready and again, leave home a little just to breathe.

Going back to LA and hanging with Adam and Carson was one of the things I needed, Carson didn’t know about the mess, not completely, so a drunken night with him and Adam was a perfect way to kick the new season of the show. With Pharrell and Gwen back, hopefully, it’ll be an easy and fun season, I didn’t know how would have I handle having Cristina in this moment.

The first meeting was up and as the room filled with people I was starting to feel my bravery quiver at the idea of telling everyone that I was, in fact, getting a divorce; not that the crew would mind not having Miranda here, because she was clear to share that she hated this whole thing but they’ll feel bad for me and I know they love me. I took a long breath and I felt a hand on my shoulder. Adam.

_-Ready? Everything’s gonna be fine. Swear-_

_-Yeah, yeah… fuck-_

The meeting was starting anytime soon and Pharrell and Gwen walked in talking, arm in arm and she looked kind of…lightless, not her usual self. I got up and I hugged Pharrell tight, gave him a few kisses on his head and pretended to cry over his rejection, making him try to squirm away from me, made Adam rolled his eyes as he hugged Gwen, and Gwen laugh hysterically over my stupidness. I moved to her and gave her a tight hug, no kiss, no foolishness but just a sweet and tight.

We sat in the chairs and chatted for a bit, she was a little quiet and observant, the smile didn’t reach her eyes and she looked completely uneasy.

 _-Glad to see all of you, here, right now_ \- Mark said and the meeting started.

The news weren’t that big, reminded or the rules and they gave us the schedule, the comeback artist thing could be the only big deal. I took a long breath and raised my hand when Mark asked for questions.

_-I want to say something, not a question but…something important-_

_-What happened buddy?-_

_-When this airs, the blinds…I’ll be divorced-_ The silence took over the table and everyone’s eyes popped out of their heads.

_-Buddy, whatever you need-_

_-I’m good… I just didn’t want this to be an awkward story-_

_-Good, good-_

_-I’m so ready for you to marry a city, LA girl, so ready…. We’ll hit the clubs and I told Behati already about one of her Victoria Secret friends…-_ Adam lightens the mood.

_-Actually, Adam…I decided to be gay and you’re the first one in my list-_

_-Really? I’m the first?-_

_-No, truth is Josh and Cade were first but… you know, don’t know them that well, but I know you need me to live, so…_ \- the table laughed and the tighten in the room loosed a bit.

I looked at mi right and Gwen was looking at me, she wasn’t laughing and her eyes were wide and a bit teary, she looked down and took a deep breath, I realized that all the things I have noticed on her, from the way she acted to the wait she smiled, reminded of me when I wasn’t surrounded by many people. I guess I wasn’t alone.

 

One night while shooting the blinds, we all stayed at the lot a bit later than usual, the sky was turning a bit gray and people were running before the rain started to pour. Pharrell and Adam ran to their wives as Gwen and I stood alone in the lot, I was waiting for my diver and she… was there.

 _-Crazy, right? The talent…_ \- I started, the awkwardness was killing me.

 _-Yeah, I forgot how crazy and fun it was-_ Silence again

_-Yeah, I get you. When I’m there I don’t have to think about life-_

_-Yeah…I get it-_

Silence again. I felt a tightness in my chest, she sounded lost.

_-Gwen… are you ok? I know we don’t know each other very well but…-_

_-I’m getting divorce too_ \- her voice came soft and fast. I looked at her and she had her eyes set on the road, avoiding mine. We were about five inches apart, not touching, like strangers having a conversation.

_-I’m sorry it sucks, I know. I’ve gone through it once before…-_

_-I just… It doesn’t feel real or …-_

_-Yeah, some days I just don’t know what I should do-_

_-Why are you keeping it to yourself? You don’t have to, it’s good to vent. Heaven know I did it with Adam. He didn’t understand anything I said but he listen and told me how much of a bitch Miranda was, which was exactly what I needed-_

_-Blake… I’m ashamed-_

_-Me too. I get you, but… sometimes is better be ashamed for a while that miserable for the rest of you life-_

_-I know you’re right. It’s just…hurts-_  Her voice broke at the end and I turned to her took her arm and shoved her into my chest. I held her against me, tight. Her hands were on her sides like not wanting to hold onto me, it took her about a minute for her to break.

First her hands went around me, then her headed moved to my chest and then I first her breath coming short and sobs making her tremble, our hug turned tight and it hurt a bit, it hurt because I remembered with that hug, how hurt I still was and how much pain there was still inside of me; it hurt because the thought of her, hurting and being sad, hurt me.

Her breath was coming in hitches than I wasn’t able to hear when the rain started to pour down on us. I held tight onto her, I felt my skin soaking under the rain, I felt the drops of water hitting my skin and soaking my hair, drips of water coming down my body and dripping from my hair. I held tighter.

The thunders breaking through the sky and illuminating it, wasn’t as beautiful, it was ugly, it was a reminder of the pain. I heard the cars nearby, I heard the people running and I just held tighter to the beautiful hurting blond that was in my arms.

_-I hate this, I’m tired of crying, I just… can’t anymore-_

_-Baby doll, crying is better than keeping shit inside a bottle. I prefer shredding a few tears, sometimes that’s the only thing that helps to heal-_

_-You cry?-_

_-All the time, all the fucking time-_

_-Is it ever gonna stop hurting-_

_-Yes, it will. I know you don’t see it right now, but it will. I’m sure it will-_

_-Thanks, Blake-_

_-Baby, if you need to talk, you have my email, you have my number, give me a call, and that’s it. I’ll be there-_

_-Why are you so nice, Blake?-_

_-I know what’s coming through your head.  I know how much you’re hurting and if I can do anything to help you, I will, and selfishly, maybe I can help you and you’ll help me-_

_-It’s no selfish-_

_-I don’t know pretty girl-_

_-I like that-_

_-What?-_

_-The nicknames-_

_-Well, get used to them-_

_-Ok…-_

_-You have to go home before you get sick-_

_-Ok…-_ she kept holding on me. I gave tighten my grip on her, I kissed her head and separated from her, she looked at me  and I winked at her, held her hand and dragged her to her car, took the keys form her hand, opened the car, helped her to get in and even turned her car on. All while she stared at me.

_-Go home, take a shower and text me, doesn’t matter when and where. You need me, I’m here, ok?-_

_-Thank you-_

_-Go home pretty girl-_

 I closed the car door and she got her car going and heading home. My driver came the minute her car left the lot and I jumped in. To home, to wait for a text I was dying to get.


	3. The One With The Kiss

We were at my house; it had become our ritual when the kids were with Gavin. Blake knew the schedule as good as I did, the second they left; he was at my doorstep, usually with food and a crazy story to tell me. 

_-So, what did you mom say?-_

_-Well… she first wanted to know why my head was red and then, she’d ask about the reason I was naked in the barn, in the middle of winter_ \- With that, I laughed. How was it possible that he was so funny and so endearing and sweet and handsome.

_-More ice cream?_ -  He asked and I just nodded. I would have never had so much ice cream if it wasn’t for Blake, he made me forget about the rules I've been living under until I started to invite him to my place to hang out. I’ve been laughing more in the last two months with Blake than I have in my entire life.

I had been messing up my diet with the amount of ice cream, pizza and even coca-cola and alcohol I’ve been consuming. We have spent days talking and eating and laughing, the sour conversations of two months ago turned into sweet ones and then to flirty ones, I must admit I was loving it. He would come up with one-liners that just made me blush like a schoolgirl and at the same time, he would make my heart melt into a puddle of water.

He served me up more chocolate ice-cream and I got a text from Jen.

“How are you feeling babe?”

Jen was checking up on me since yesterday when the nanny story came out and now, everyone was talking about the fact that I got cheated on for three years under my own roof. As if it wasn’t hard enough finding that out a few months back, now it had returned from the dead to ghost over my life and my children lives.

“I’m good, I’m eating ice-cream and ate pizza earlier”

“Blake?”

“Who else?”

“I need to meet this guy”

_-All good?-_

_-Yeah… just, Jen, checking on me-_

_-So, I decided to bring the whole thing, put the syrup and two spoons-_

_-How elegant of your-_ I said getting a huge chunk on my spoon and getting in my mouth.

_-You know me, baby, I’m all elegant-_ He did the same with a laugh.

We sat down on the couch, this time I got my legs up in his, my butt was pressed to the side of his legs, my back was on top of the arm of the couch, my face was near his chest as he laid under me enjoying himself apparently. I looked up, he looked down, we have found ourselves in this position a few times, close but not close enough for my own good, but at the same time, too close for my own good. The irony.

_-Blake… how you thought about dating again?-_

_-Mmmmmm, well… that question is asked to me, quite a lot… usually, I say something funny and dodge the question, but…right now, I don’t know what to say-_

_-Yes or no-_

_-I have thought about it, not in general but… I’ve thought about one person only. You?_ \- Could he feel my heart racing, was it me? We haven’t discussed whatever our relationship was, we hadn’t discussed anything about us, about our arrangements or anything. We haven’t discussed the fact that he spends more time here, in my house, than at his; we haven’t discussed the fact that the tension between us was getting stronger each second and neither of us seemed to stop or to take the lead…the lead to what? I had no idea.

_-People want me to date, my friends have been pushing me to. Giving me guys numbers and asking me to “call” as if… I haven’t chase a guy in decades, I forgot how it was-_

_-You? Chasing?-_

_\- Well, yes... I chased Tony and then Gavin-_

_-For real? You strike me as the girl who deserves to be chased-_

_-Yeah…I’ve never been seduced into anything…which completely sucks, in a way. Who doesn’t like to feel desired?-_

_-Baby, the whole word desires you-_

_-The whole world? Doubt that…-_

_-I don’t. I have no doubt about that-_

_-Dumb joke…-_

_-Easy joke-_ My laugh was cut short by the thunder broken through and making my whole house shake and my mouth gasping at the sound. I felt moving forward when the lightening showered the sky and I felt Blake’s arm around me, pulling me towards him. I left my arms wrap around him; I felt his heat and his body under me.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little weirded out around him, I’ve been noticing little things he does or he says. The way his eyes soften whenever he talks to me, the way his dimples come out whenever he looks at me, the way his hand brushes mine or caresses my back when I’m near, the way he stands up tall but never looking to intimidate, the way he smells – woods, musk and his light cologne- the way he winks sometimes out of the blue, the way he blushes when I look at him for long. Those little things were driving me nuts, confusing me with wanton and feelings.

Blake was becoming a big part of my healing process, I wasn’t hurting anymore – took long but I made it-, I was working on building up my confidence and self-steam – Blake was, always, showering me with beautiful things and comments, I’ve started to say thank you instead of brushing it off, was a huge step, I was writing, I was living creatively again, it was damn amazing and Blake was in the middle of that mix.  

_-Oh, damn, the chickens-_

_-What?-_ He asked.

_-I didn’t open the place for the chickens to hide from the rain, it hasn’t rain in months, damn it-_

_-I’ll go with you-_

We went outside and the three chickens I had purchased and the boys have loved it, were trying to get inside their house. We got to it when the first drops of rain were falling down the sky, the first one landed on my cheek and then, like a switch the rain started to pour hard, just when we opened the little house for the little chicks, they ran in and barely got wet while Blake and I were getting soaking wet.

_-Damn it, it’s stuck-_

_-Is it?-_

_-Let me help you…-_ he got behind me after helping all the chickens to get under the roof and started to pull down the little door with me, the thing got stuck on top and the water was starting to get inside, the chickens were making sounds and getting scared and then the door dropped hard and closed it, letting the small door opened for them to get out.

_-Let’s get inside, is raining-_

_-We’re already wet-_

_-Well...yeah, but…-_

_-You look funny, your hair is all wet, you look like a soaking angel-_

_-My make-up is probably running down my cheeks, and I must look like a raccoon-_

_-You don’t, you look beautiful, as usual…-_   I rolled my eyes but I stayed there, looking at him, making a fool of myself, probably.

_-The last time it rained in LA, I was crying on your chest…-_

_-Yeah, you wanna cry right now?-_

_-Noup…I don’t-_

_-Good, what do you want to do? We have to change that memory for something better-_

_-Mmmmmm…-_ my eyes flew to his lips. – _I don’t know._ _Blake, we are under the rain, thinking about what should we do, under the rain. It’s stupid_ -

- _Is it?-_

_-Yes…just do whatever you want to do…-_ I stopped talking

He stared at me and, then he put his hands on my arms, he pushed me towards him and I was stunned. He got us close and I saw him leaning down and bending his head down to get close to my mouth. I didn’t do anything.  I saw him hesitate and then finally, bringing his lips to mine.

His lips hit mine and just put pressure on them, he didn’t turn it filthy, he didn’t sneak his tongue, he didn’t bite my lips, he just touched them, I didn’t move, I couldn’t. My eyes were locked in his, he looked scared and petrified. He was shielding me from the rain and more, probably, I saw him moving away and I just fisted his shirt and slammed him into me.

I opened my lips a bit and he got my lower lip in his, we closed our eyes as on cue, and he moved his head so we were now kissing, full on a tongue-less kiss, it was a play, we were dancing around each other and I felt like I was being lifted from the ground.

I sneaked my tongue inside his mouth and I felt his arms surrounding me and holding me tight against him. I felt each one of his muscles and his hardness giving me his heat and strength, I felt his breath hitching when I got my arms over his shoulders and his smile when I moaned at his hand holding my hair, he got all my sweet spots and I was melting in the middle of a stormy day in LA.

Our tongues started to play, hide and seek, the cat and the mouse, they were dancing giving and taking as much as they could. His mouth left mine and I took a deep breath, I clawed my hands on his shoulders and I opened my eyes.

_-I’ve been dying to do that, for long-_

_-Why haven’t you?-_

_-I was waiting for the rain-_

_  
_


	4. The One In The Pool

-Honey, want to get in the pool?- I heard Gwen saying from the door. I was in the office. I had been dating Gwen for almost four years, and living together for two and a half, she has been asking me to use new pronouns, not hers but ours, not yours but ours, not the house but our home. The last one not exactly a pronoun, but you know…. That was until we got this house, our home, our seven bedrooms, eight bathrooms, huge ass house, it had a modern ranch vibe to it, it had a gym, a movie theater, a pool, playing room and enough space to get all of our family here in case of the aliens or the zombies coming here.

-Right now? It’s gonna rain, I hear the thunders from far- I said not getting my eyes away from the computer. I was receiving a very nice review about my chances of winning in the CMAs next weekend, from one of the producers.

-Yeah… common, I have a new bathing suit, you’re gonna love it- I heard that and my head turned as quick as it could to my right, to the door, where my baby was rocking a small red swimming suit, did I say small? I meant tiny.

-Holy mother of God-

-Common on, cowboy- She turned around and a heart attack almost strikes me. The tiny swimsuit was even smaller, a thong, damn it.

Without noticing I went outside and I saw her laying on top of lounge near the pool. I took a deep breath and walked to her.

-You need a swim truck-

-No, I don’t- I was stuck, my eyes glued to her. I got my shirt off quickly and took the boots off, got my jeans off and left it all on the floor as I laid right next to her. I looked at her body and it was striking that she was mine, she was perfection, seeing the way her tiny waist was barely holding those threads she called swimsuit, her legs, oh, my God, her legs were perfect, her toenails matching her look, her abs looked hard and perfect, the tiny fabric protecting her breasts from the sun was mouthwatering, her head was back, her hair flowing down the back of the chair, all tempting and all beautiful. Too hard to understand that this woman was turning fifty years old.

I saw her taking deep breaths and moving her hands to her hair, pulling it back and letting her arms and body bath underneath the sun.

-You’re gonna get tan lines and we have the CMA this weekend, I thought you were wearing a backless dress- I said, my voice low and gravely.

-I am… what are you saying, what options are you giving me?-

-Take the top off-

-I don’t want to burn, this is the worst sun, the one hiding behind the clouds- She said with a smile, knowing my game.

-I’ll rub you with the highest sunblock- she laughed and moved her arms, took off the top of her swimsuit and I felt my gut tightening the second I saw her breasts all out. This wouldn’t have been possible in the old place, too many cameras, here, no one could get here, didn’t matter, I couldn't count the number of times we have fucked breathless outside.

I grabbed the sunscreen and got my hands all white with it, started to run my hands from her neck to her low abs, over and over again, her breath was getting ragged as my hands touched her breasts, her nipples were sensible and hard, she arched.

I moved down and got more sunscreen and went to her legs, sneaked my hands under the bottom and started to move it down her legs.

-Blake, this wasn’t the deal…- she said, tried to complained but the way she was reacting to my hands and the way she was arching, her breath harder and she moved her hips up so I could get the thing off, told me otherwise.

Naked in her complete glory, shining under the dim sun, she turned around.

-Don’t forget my back-

I took more and started to rub it all over her back, her legs, her ass. I was getting really hard, it was hard not to when your girl is underneath you holy naked and the only thing you wanted to do... was something very dirty. I stopped and when I was about to make my move, my phone rang.

-You gotta be kidding´- I said and she laughed, turning around.

I got the call and it was John, my boss, he wanted to discuss my performance at the CMA, what song was I thinking about singing and about the set and all, the next day I was going to the Opry and the day after I was singing in Ole’ Red Nashville – which was going great-

I sat down at the end of the other lounge to not block the sun from Gwen as she bathed in gold bright gold.

-Yes, I’m thinking about doing that one. Yes, I know. Yes, it’s strongly climbing the charts- I said and Gwen took that time to flex her legs and open them, showing me all her goods. –Yes, I know I’m singing after Miranda, yes, I know it’s her comeback after her fuck up with the cops, yeah, her album isn’t doing well either, she needs the exposure and probably is gonna use me and Gwen, but Gwen wants to go and sit there and watch the show, she already got the dress…-

Gwen moved one hand from the lounge to her leg and slowly moved it towards her abs, my mouth started to watered. Her hand moved down her center and she hit her core in light touches. She arched.

-Fuck…- I heard John agreeing with me about the Miranda thing, she had broken up and hooked up with a few big names in the industry and the thing was hitting her career - I thought it was stupid to label her for hooking up while she was single- but the problem was that the guys - those assholes- hadn’t said nice things about her and then, she had been having a few problems with alcohol and the cops, she needed good exposure.

Gwen’s hand started to roll over her clit, lightly, - like she liked it- and she arched again. My dick stir hard under the boxers and my breath was caught when she slipped one finger in, she moaned.

-John, I’ll call you back, I have a problem with … the pool-

-The pool?-

-Yeah, the tube broke; I need to fix it…-

-Tube? What tube?-

-Some tube, there’s water everywhere…-

-Oh, God…go, go- I hung up and put my phone down, and crawled to her.

-Fuckin shit, Gwen-

I got between her legs and started to caress them while she kept rubbing her clit, right where my mouth was dying to get. I licked my lips and she arched hard, her hand tapping her clit and I got my mouth in her, I bit her lips as she got her other hand in my hair. I got my tongue out and licked her core as she moved her legs over my shoulders as I got my hands over her hips, kneeling in the concrete of the pool.

The hand on her clit moved away to hold the chair as I took her whole, grazed her clit with my teeth and with my tongue in, she screamed and I used my hands to not let her move, I went to suck her clit gently, her head snapped back again.

I got my tongue in her clit and started to roll it fast enough to get her close, not too much to get her to cum but just to tempt the devil.

I got two fingers in at once and her head moved to bit the towel that laid underneath her, she bit it and tugging it with her teeth and her hands was a sight to be seen and to be remembered. I pushed harder and twisted my fingers up as I sucked on her clit hard, she arched, scream and done, exploded, she tightens on my fingers, in a rhythmical way that I had decided the first time it happened, that nothing would feel this sweet.

I got up and tugged my boxers down, as she stared at me with hooded eyes, still dark and mellow. I got on top of her and her legs crawled me with desire and need. I saw her eyes flashing blue as the lightening bolt broke the sky. I kissed her neck and her ear.

-I owed you one for last night- I said with a smile, remembering how after getting into bed, I had received one of the best gifts a man can receive, a blow job from the woman he loved for no reason at all. It was the slow, deep one, the one that even after you’re done, you want more. The one that leaves you breathless and needy and only interrupted by the whining six-year-old from the other side of the door calling from momma and poppa.

I moved up, to only be flipped. I was underneath a blushed goddess. She moved her hand from my chest to my face, she moved down and kissed me.

-It’s raining-

-The best things happen under the rain- That was what I always said whenever rain poured down. It brings back the moment we kissed, the moment we had found out we were having our daughter and whenever it rained, we opened the windows and had sex like wild animals.

I saw her smiling and kissing her way down my dick, for some reason Gwen liked to suck me off, I wasn’t sure why. I have always thought dicks were ugly, but her eyes shine anytime she could blow my mind and after four years, her technique was perfect, she knew I like it hard and quick, I liked the feeling of been edged, I liked that painful edge of pleasure that would intensify everything.

I felt the few drop of rain falling on my body and in that second, her mouth took me inside of her, she was warm contrasting to the cold that was starting in the usually sunny LA. She held me tight in her mouth, she likes to take me without hands, making my desperation grow quick, so she took the head and sucked it hard, hollowing her cheeks.

-Fuck, shit- I gasped as my head snapped back. Like that, I liked it just like that. Hard.

She let it fall down my body with a loud smack over my abdomen. I opened my eyes and saw her mouth getting closer to my balls, each one; she took them in her mouth and sucked it the way she did before, hard and quick. I held on the lounge. The water already soaking the towel under me.

She moved her tongue up to my dick again and went down with it, hard, grazing her teeth to the shaft, not hard at all, just playing with the threat, she came down again, this time she took me in farther and I hit her throat as I gasped for air.

-Gwen, oh, Fuck….let me…shit- She did it again and I had to stop her as I felt her move.

I felt the drop of water coming down my legs and when I opened my eyes, Gwen looked like the queen of thunder. The rain coming down behind her, naked, and a lightning bolt splitting the sky in two.

She moved her hand down and I felt her hand on my dick, she brushed it with her hot center and I held my breath, arching at the heat, close yet not close enough. She pushed it in and closed her eyes, sat down on me and when I was fully in her she took a hold of my forearms.

-Fuck- I loved when Gwen got dirty, it didn’t happen often, only did when she was too gone to think.

I got her hips up, she moaned, and then down, slowly, oh, so slowly. She flinched and opened her mouth widely, she snapped her neck back and I saw the hickey I had left on her right boob the week before, getting yellow. I repeated the same torturous pace, with the water pouring over us, I felt the stings on the rain in my naked body but I didn't care, felt like they were evaporating the second it touched our skins.

I left her hips shaking. I took her wrists and got them to her back, caging her, I pushed her up and now, my hips started to move up and down. I was controlling the tempo of the thrust, I went hard and quick, controlling the thrust. The sound of the lightning over us, the sound of our skin slapping against the other and the sounds of her moans was almost too much.

I kept moving, I kept moving hard, driving us to the finish line, I took her head in my hands, pushed her down and kissed her as I felt her legs quiver and shake, her arms went to my shoulders and scream the second I hit the right place, getting her to dissolve over me and mixing our screams of pleasure with the thunders in the sky.


End file.
